What's on my mind today?

So, what am I thinking about at the moment?

• Garden: The veg patch has changed and expanded. Lots of seeds planted, potatoes in pots and in ground, bird cages made, edges made, soil dug... I spend a good hour each evening out there. About to make a Wendy house. It's potential location keeps changing but I think it's now sorted.


• Work: Going well, but with the 'credit crunch' I know we are finding it hard going. I hope the business will survive!


• Future: I think I have begun to be a little unsettled about my future - in the sense of if work doesn't survive the economic crises, where will I go next? It will be a stroke of bad luck to get a second redundancy! But perhaps that is too pessismistic a thinking. I so long to work with something more environmentally based and I know I have been chipping away at things with voluntary work, but it takes soooooooo long! Even building up friendships with people on my wavelength seems almost impossible. How many doors do I have to push? I love my job (well, give or take a few niggles here and there), but I almost sense that there is a calling for me elsewhere that I haven't really tapped in to yet. Listening to the www.wigglywigglers.co.uk podcasts is sooo inspiring! I sometimes feel in totally the wrong place...


• Passion: Life! Having a successful work/family/life balance. A natural, earth based philosophy.


• God and being a Man!: Having just been on a Church weekend away doing the 'Wild at Heart' study on being a man, I have come away feeling rather depressed at how different I feel my 'spiritual' life/ perspective on the world is. Sometimes I feel that the difficulties I face with 'Christian 'things' are just too big to surmount and I almost just want to forget it all and just curl up in a hole and say "I'm sorry, but I really can't cope with it all' - and if you talk to Christians aboiut it, all they want is for you to join their side otherwise you've had it mate! Oh, pooey, it really stresses me out!


• Dan, Apples and Idealism: Following on the the above course 'Wild at Heart', a recent visit to Herefordshire and all that I have been doing on the garden, I want to write about how I feel I have reached a point of connection with my Father and who he was.


• Painting and Design: I am enjoying playing with watercolour paints, sketching outdoors and doing design work for Urban Saints when I can.


• Family: I love my family!


• Exercise: I feel so much more in control of life when I am getting reasonable exercise either through walking, cycling or gardening.

I think that will do for the moment.