New Journeys

My new sketchbook is proving to be a pleasure to carry around and it is beginning to fill up with scribbles, doodles, notes, prayers and anything else I want to add. Its arrival seems to have coincided with some new and interesting challenges in life and I hope it will be a way for me to try and find a path through them over the next few months. I may share more about that in the future.

I seem to have got bored with the iPad in the sense that I find it a little restrictive in how I want to physically move about on the screen and also the fact that it is yet another digital screen. After looking at my mac at work for hours on end each day I want a break from the digital world. A larger iPad might perhaps be good, or one of the new touch screen things that are becoming popular - a Wacom Cintiq or a cheaper equivalent. Technology moves fast and there are increasing opportunites for alternative working methods for designers but they are still not cheap and I am not sure I could justify the investment. That is one thing about a humble sketchpad and pen, it doesn't cost much and hand created artwork somehow seems much more pleasurable to handle and show people.

I don't always find it easy to focus or maintain a direction with my art and at the moment I think I need the sketchbook to nurture my creative soul. I always jump around between one thing and another: urban sketching, character design, cartoons, caricatures, whimsical ideas and nature based art. My mind switches between things depending on the inspiration around me and I get easily distracted. This isn't helped by some medication I am on that slows me down and getting my brain in gear to be creative can feel like hard work. 

A few days ago I was talking to a guy at work who seems to spend his lunchtimes and evenings glued to a computer screen doing some form of artwork. I can't work that way, it would be too stressful to me. I have done it in the past but now, in my more mature years, I can't cope with excessive hours in front of a computer screen. In some ways I would be happy to get rid of all the technology around me and be free of its seductive lure. In other ways I wish I could embrace it more and have the time and space to explore my own creative dreams.

New sketchbook

Summer holidays and experiences are great time for thinking about change. Have decided to change my rough and rather scrappy sketchbooks into more of a journal. Bought a new hardback A4 sketchbook today with a stitched spine rather than wire. This should make doing larger illustrations easier as well as an encouragement to draw more acurately and make notes, write things etc in a more constructive way. Also bought some wonderful 'Aqua Flo' watercolour brushes that can actually be filled with water or coloured inks. This will make doing more tonal sketches far easier as I can work loosely in watercolour with just a dab of paint on a jam jar lid and have a flexible watercolour brush that can add water by squeezing just when I need it and without all the fuss of water pots etc. That has also saved buying a new IPad and Apple pencil! Looking forward to seeing how it will work out. Filled in the title page this evening.

Ramblin' Man

I had been looking forward to my week in Shropshire for many months. I was particularly eager try and solve a creative problem that has been with me for a while: in what direction should my art and illustration work go?

To me, my creative spirit is a disturbed spirit. It finds no home and is distracted by many things. It wanders over the landscape seeking the touch of inspiration. It reaches out into the natural world to touch, sense and explore everything. Mainly it is an observational spirit, it doesn’t ask many questions but just accepts what it finds and dwells in the presence of being present in places. There is a song by Lemon Jelly called Ramblin’ Man (on Youtube) that I recently came across. It speaks to me in many ways and it isn’t often songs do that to me. It carries with it a sense of wandering, going places and never resting. There is a sense of journey, but never ending, just a continuous walk from place to place. Recently, a long walk found me up on Bury Ditches just north east of Clun. I hadn’t quite planned to walk up there but I was out for a day’s walk and it was a bright, clear day with a hint of spring in the air. As I walked around the ramparts of the hill fort on  top of the hill and overlooked the surrounding valleys and hills, I thought of this song and noted how much I just love to walk. I could walk all day. With no time limitations I could go where I wanted to and just walk and walk. This was all I wanted to do. It was the end of my holiday and this was my last full day away from the busyness of work. Up here, on a hill in my homeland, I felt at peace and at home. But also a place to which I would have to say goodbye until my next visit.

The next day I walked into the greenhouse in the walled garden at Croft Castle and did a little bit of sketching whilst sheltering from a cool breeze. In front of me was a bench with a few small watering cans and some plants growing up and around the iron framework. As I scribbled on my sketchpad I suddenly felt as though a whole wealth of ideas and possibilities suddenly merged. In front of me I had the solution to how I could work on the iPad, do paintings and a develop a new way of working that could cross digital and traditional hand illustration. Things take time to evolve with me. It is like going on a long walk or a journey. Ideas may appear but it may take ages of thinking, trying out ideas or exploring techniques before something of value emerges.

Lawnmower

This stunning piece of creativity caught my eye at the Rhythms of the World festival in Hitchin. It is an excellent example of horticulture being mixed with mechanical nostalgia and evokes in me all sorts of ideas and possibilities. I have occasionally broken out of 2-dimenasional limitations of illustration and ventured into the realm of garden sculptures but only with bits of wood and stone. I do have lots of possible bigger ideas floating around of what I could possibly do but I never spend the time, energy and resources in putting anything in practice. Mainly because it takes just that: time, energy and resources in sourcing materials etc. Perhaps this is now an inspiration to go out and do something constructive.

Reflection on creative thought

At last the evenings have been getting warmer and, although still a little on the chilly side, I have managed to spend an hour in the summerhouse tonight without shivvering. With a candle, drum and some newly acquired 'Ceridwen'incense I felt able to relax and draw upon some deeply needed inspiration.

I've written a few things in my sketchpad over the past few weeks that somehow haven't made it to this blog. I don't think I have been deeply inspired which feels a little strange perhaps as Spring is beginning to arise all around me. The winter has been long and cold but now the maiden of spring is dancing over the landscape and things are bursting forth - or something like that! It may be because I have started a new job and all the energy and focus that I had to plough into my previous 'existence' is now having a rest and my soul work is taking a back seat whilst I just get on with walking my new path. I'm able to relax a little now in that sense and yet would very much like to redirect my spirtual nature into its new framework and look for a new direction.

I pray for clarity of thought and the ability to just get my brain thinking about things and being more creative. Often it just seems to clog up and stall and can't grasp even simple things or think clearly. Perhaps I am just getting older and need to develop exercises to just unlock more exploratory and creative thinking. Perhaps I need to dig out "The Artists Way" again and do some more daily journalling. It is just discipline though snd creating space in the day to do it. Or perhaps I should develop somthing else; or do more exercise, drink less coffee....

The Druid Christian

I have been pondering on whether my term for there being a 'Christian Druid' was inaccurate and, as I have come from a mainly Christian upbringing, so perhaps the term 'Druid Christian' would be more helpful.

But I hate labels, even though they help to form an identity around who or what you are. It is like having a coat hanger upon which you can hang all your favourite bits and pieces so that they don't get all scrumpled up and dusty at the bottom of the wardrobe.

To all those who have commented on my previous blogs about Christian Druidry I give a big thank you. I really ought to sort some stuff out and try and build a proper framework around the subject - as I have probably implied, it would not be Druidry as such, nor Paganism but fairly general and holistic view of a practical natural spirituality.

We all want identity, we all want hope, we all want security; some of us need the 'spiritual'. But the 'spiritual' has to be real to us. It has to be real, authentic, trustworthy, boundary-less and true to our soul. It may well have to be kept private if we are not in a secure place of sharing. I find it hard work, mentally and physically, to embrace a lifestyle that I perceive would be true to my spirituality. Some people may find it easy to walk their chosen path, but I don't. But that spurs me on to learn more and to try and incorporate something practical in my daily lifestyle.

It is a place of mystery when art, poetry, music, writing, nature and the desire for the 'other' meet and explore in creative playfulness. It is a place of unknowing where the unexpected may happen. It is a place of prayer when you reach out from within into the space of the otherness. It is a place of slowing down, when the time of our world meet that of the earth. It is a place where fear of darkness or the unkown lessens. It is a place where your inner soul finds strength and belonging.

I don't know what to write
I want to explore with words
I want to touch the cool leaves
I want to run through the fields
I want to sense prayers that call
to the unseen and receive the
gifts of the mysterious.

I want.
How unfortunate a phrase
typical of our unsustainability.

I am what I write
I am exploring with words
I am touching the cool leaves
I am running through the fields
I am sensing prayers that call
to the unseen and receiving the
gifts of the mysterious.

Camping and Drumming

Recently I spent a few days camping. I spent one night at Eastnor Deer Park campsite near Ledbury in Herefordshire and then three nights at the Resurgence Readers Camp held at Green and Away, a tented and 'green' conference centre near Worcester. With four days at my disposal I wanted to make sure that I used them wisely. The Resurgence camp was a great opportunity to meet a diverse group of people but, as I had found last year to be so emotionally challenging and inspiring, I decided not to attend any of the talks or activities this year. I talked lots, did quite a bit of washing up and enjoyed just sitting around chatting to people. It was great to spend time with people who shared many of my interests and ideas and I appreciated not feeling quite so isolated.

There were some things that were inspiring to me about my time way and I will just recount them here. I don't want this to be a diary as such so I'm just going to write what comes into my mind and not focus on times, places or people as such.

I had pitched my tent in Eastnor Deer Park on the south-western edge of the Malvern Hills and walked up to the monument on the hill above the campsite. During my tea I had been watched by two doe Roe Deer and five stags then appeared out of the woods to watch me as I left the tent and began to walk up the hill. It was about 9pm and the light was just beginning to fade. The rain laden clouds were giving way to a much clearer sky and there was quite a cool breeze. I took my drum with me and enjoyed a decent time drumming in the approaching darkness. With the air being cold and damp, my drum was distinctly sounding flat but it was wonderful to play it and listen to how it sounded with the breeze in the trees. This was the first night of my holiday and I felt a great release of freedom from the isolation and restriction I had felt at work. I had driven three hours to get to this place and now I was at home in the landscape, the wind and the rain. There was one moment of looking up when I was thinking about light and immediately seeing the only star in a patch of sky that was very moving.

I took my drum on a gloriously warm and sunny morning up onto Midsummer Hill on the southern end of the Malvern Hills. Walking up to the hilltop just after 6am was a wonderful experience and the views were superb - so clear under a cloudless sky. There was a strong breeze, but in the lee of the hilltop and the concrete seat, I enjoyed a great time of drumming. Weaving seemed to be the theme - weaving the sound of the drum through the landscape. I find that small chants can come naturally to me in places like this. I can't always remember them as they come and go with the flow of my drumming and whatever I am thinking or praying about. It is a very "in the moment" sort of experience.

The River Teme runs beside the Green and Away camp and I took my drum down the river bank one morning after breakfast. It was warmish, mostly sunny and no-one else was about. The river was significantly higher than last year and the water a muddy brown with silt from recent rains. The Indian Balsam was in full flower and long-tailed tits fluttered around seemingly unperturbed in the willow trees just beside me as I drummed. I then sat down and spent an hour or so drawing my experience, by which time other campers were out walking and enjoying the river too.

I spent an hour by myself in the yurt 'sitting room' drumming. This is almost one of my most favourite places in which to be. Quite, surrounded by soft cushions, warm in the summer sunshine and very welcoming.

I had a good walk up onto Croft Ambrey and then a few hours drawing in the walled garden at Croft Castle. Between the many rain showers there was lovely sunshine, but it was so intermittently wet that I didn't get as much drawing done as I would have liked.

Driving from Leominster with my mother to our old farm. It was a beautifully warm, clear and sunny evening and the countryside around Tenbury Wells and towards Hanley Child looked stunning.

I'm not used to talking so much and so when faced with so many interesting people who all share many of my different interests it was fun but quite tiring to practice quality communication. I did appreciate that some people sought me out from time to time as I felt I was always giving, always being the one to initiate conversation - and I was trying very hard to be pleasent, chatty, respectful and friendly to all whom I met.

Visting the Knapp and Papermill Nature Reserve. This has to now be one of my favourite places on the planet! I went there twice this year having fallen in love with it last year. The river, the old apple orchard, the woodland, the meadows.... sigh!

Finding time to do some drawing that wasn't rushed was wonderful. I did a couple of pictures at the Resurgence camp that I put up in the yurt and those that saw them and realised I had done them were quite appreciative of them. I felt I had contributed something in a quiet, sort of unseen way to the camp. If i go again next year I might draw upon this and do something a bit more.

Reflections

I'm sitting in the summerhouse on a cool and overcast July evening. I'm not sure what I am going to write about, I will see where I am lead.

Direction
I've thought a lot about direction over the past few months, mainly in terms of career and personal development, and have found it a bit stressful as I really don't know what to do and so much interests me!

Creative Energy
My focus now seems to have returned to my creative side. Perhaps because I know I ought to make the best use of the warm summer months when being creative is easier. There is more time and space to appreciate all that the earth can show me and I know it will pass by all too quickly. I seem to have found some positive focus for my own personal artwork. For me, things seem to evolve slowly and I seem to be feeling a sense of a more definite connection between various things around me and my creative energy. I won't expand on it here as I don't want to try and spend writing time describing things that are very visual. Through my job designing greetings card I have taken my artistic skills into new territory and I feel things are beginning to merge in my creative side that incorporates nature, spirituality, gardening, imagination, drawing, sculpture and much more.

Blog
Being inspired to write and to keep adding to this blog is not always easy and I could so easily give up! I don't feel as though it has had its time though, I think I have to dig deeper to get material and to keep the mind thinking and the soul nurtured. I am not in a very stimulating environment that keeps the blog-fire burning! Time is also precious.

Prayer
I'll end this note with a sort of prayer. Excuse any vagueness, but I am always cautious about bearing some specific details or mentioning names in public.


There is a stillness in the garden
a stillness that awaits, listens, welcomes and yet
bears strength and growth that is unseen
by the minds that are excited and seek stimulation.
May my spirit dwell in the garden of my soul,
to be calm, to not anger, to not worry, to not grow weary:
may there always be a silent inner strength
to be who I am meant to be, to grow,
to create, to love, to honour and to respect.

To all persons, human and non,
may I give myself freely and yet with wisdom,
understanding and strength.

To my family, J and E
I pray that we will be close and loving
like the creative love that gifts us with this earth.
When tired, sick, angry or frustrated
may peace fall like the raindrops
that have now gently begun to fall
upon the garden around me -
touching, cooling, refreshing, healing:
a presence that absorbs all incongruent energy
giving freely and with the knowledge of
its passing and revealing the new.

I ask for blessings
and the welcome of others
to guide and inspire us
in the dreams of our souls.

Return to Painting

I've just painted a picture - at last! For many months I have been wanting to try out a particular style of illustration and get back into my own personal painting. A week or so ago I outlined this picture whilst waiting for some friends in a pub and I at last sat down today to paint it. I was inspired by my drum making day in December. We actually had some warm sunshine in a sheltered part of the garden this morning and I did some of the final pencil outlining onto watercolour paper whilst sitting outside. The painting was then completed indoors with inks where the light was more consistent.

Christmas Holiday, Teeth and Creative Grumbles

Well, a week as gone by, and we have travelled down to Devon, up to Herefordshire and tomorrow will be returning home - another day in the car. Tonight is New Year's Eve and I am in a Travel Lodge with my wife and our little one who is now fast asleep on the floor. I have had three long walks, one on Dartmoor and two in Herefordshire which I have really appreciated. It has been too cold to do much drawing, writing or sitting around thinking or meditating on nature. I am disappointed at my lack of ability to get much done, but trying to force creativity into a day or location on demand is not easy nor perhaps a good idea. My time outside in places like this is so limited and precious and I almost need to have a good walk to burn off my energy rather than sit and draw or think. When I can spend more time in a place and relax into it, then perhaps I tune into subtleties and creativity more. Balancing the needs of family, holiday, work and creativity is not something I feel works well at the moment and perhaps I need to create a model that does work...

One problem I had, which annoyed me hugely, was that a filling in one of my front teeth didn't like being out in the cold and after my day on a cold and windy Dartmoor I had a very painful tooth for 24 hours or so. In Herefordshire things were better as I had borrowed a scarf but, although it kept my mouth warm, I didn't really feel I could sense the air and smells of the landscapes as well as I would normally do, particularly as I had a slight cold and stuffy nose too! I think it has now settled down and become de-sensitised a bit as it hasn't bothered me for the past day or so now.

I don't know, what does one have to do to be a brilliant creative...? Why do I struggle with this problem so much? I never feel content with where I am at - is it my lack of formal training? Perhaps I need to be in a more creative environment that actually stimulates me in the way that I find meaningful in a deeper and more personal way. Oh, I'm not going to go on about it as I get too depressed...!

Creativity in Nature

I was mildly surprised at how little was found when I typed this into Google. My reasoning behind writing the title of this blog was the question of whether Nature is inherently creative. Can the concept of Nature being creative be held as different to the creativity that we humans define as creativity? Trees don't go around making pots out of clay and blackbirds don't write novels so perhaps we have to change our perception of what creativity could means in this context. By Nature I mean the non-human component of the natural environment around us. There is clearly creativity in diversity, in species, in habitats etc. but is this inherent to the basic evolutionary (or whatever) process or is there a fundamental consciousness within it that 'creates' and, if so, what does it create? Just as we might decide to go out to paint a picture, if a tree decided it wanted to be creative, what would it do?

My thoughts began on this subject when I was reflecting on an experience I had a few weeks ago. I was lying in bed with a juicy cold/flu type thing in a state of complete inability to summon up any energy to anything but doze. For a few moments I began to reflect on a place in the countryside I had been to in the summer and which had inspired quite a long blog. In my mind I then started to create a quite long and detailed poem or piece of prose that seemed like a complete revelation of inspiration. As I was half asleep I had no inclination to try and remember it or and write it down so I had to just enjoy the fleeting experience. What I think surprised me how it seemed as though perhaps my conscious mind tapped into a latent part of my unconscious to break through a barrier of creativity and release something of beauty and meaning. This has then now led me to wonder if I can regain this level of being creative so freely, how can I be more creative, and can I learn about creativity from the natural world around me?

I have always struggled with developing my creative skills. I feel there is a barrier that I have to cross and I can never quite identify it further than a "I don't know what to do" type of thing. I have read numerous books on the subject and should really read them again. The more I read, the more things seem to fit into a more holistic framework, and I like holistic frameworks. For example, I have always known I was more of a visual learner, and my NLP course has now helped to focus that in a more positive way. Perhaps I need to get my sketchbook out more again and develop a more mind-mapping, visual type of creative expression. I know I have thought this before, but as I need to be hugely creative at work and I want to be creative for my blog and my family I feel I have to do something.

Questions:

• How can I use Nature to stimulate my own creativity?



• Do I fear the creative process because I am worried about an inability to produce things people will like?



• What unconscious barriers might there be that I need to try and break down in order to release personal creativity?



• What does Nature create if it is 'creative'?

Is there a subconscious connection of my creativity to any 'creativity' that may be inherently part of Nature? From the spiritual point of view there has to be - if you feel there is an 'other' part of you that connects to the natural environment, then there should bea connecting of energy, soul, spirit or whatever you want to call it.

I mentioned the fact that trees and blackbirds may not creative as we might define it, but I wonder how they could be if they indeed are? Blackbirds adapt their external environments by making nests and thus exhibit the ability to take objects around them and make something of use. Craftsbirds you could call them. Is a tree creative? Well, the fact that a deciduous tree undergoes a huge transformation each year to cloth itself in leaves is a great creative undertaking. It may be just a biological necessity to our eyes, but it is all about taking resources and making something new. When plants adapt to and colonise a new piece of ground they are creating a new environment, new ecological niches, new colours, new biomass, new microclimates and so much more. Are they acting independently from each other or is there a deeper something that is energizing and awakening the situation?

It is an interesting area to think about and I will probably return to it.

Further notes made whilst on a bike ride the next day

Organic natural creativity is found in nature (possibly without man). How does this compare to production uniformity that characterises man's evolution in the past 100 years or so?

The act of creating is constant in Nature. It is always in a state of change with continuous cycles of birth, growth, reproduction, death and decay. Is this comparable with how it evolves?

All living things are different even at a species level (Amoeba even?). Every tree trunk is unique like a fingerprint, and every leaf is different in how it grows and orientates itself on a twig to gain maximum potential for photosynthesis.

To create is an organic process - always changing.

Is the process of life just a process of creation? Of new beginnings, always moving on, adapting to new situations and always changing. I am sitting in the sunshine, in a cool breeze on a rather warm mid-December day amongst some trees. Even in the depths of winter the process of creation is going on all around me, much of it not on a timescale that I am usually thinking about. Leaves are decaying to form new top soil; seeds are lying dormant in the soil but being subject to temperature changes that will cause enzyme or hormonal changes within them to encourage them to germinate in the spring; new buds are forming on branches; and the wind brings changes in temperature and humidity. I happened to notice some concentric rings in the bark on the trunk of a tree and I should have taken a photograph of the. They reminded of the act of creation, something small, growing and radiating outwards, like the ripples on a pond - the creation affecting the world around it.

Does a tree "know" that the leaves it bore all through the summer are now decaying around it to form humous and the habitat for organisms that will benefit the tree's growth?

Does a creative process always bring about growth?

For Nature, creation is the art of survival. It is how it moves forwards in evolutionary terms. But for Man, have we moved on from this? Creation for many of us is no longer about making tools to kill out food or to weave rugs to keep us warm in the winter. Creation has become the making of aesthetic things - we have moved it to another level because our basic needs have been satisfied. Survival has been taken care of. We have a large enough population to enable us to achieve different levels of creativity.

Creation is about gathering resources for expansion. You cannot create out of nothing, there is always something behind it, even if just energy. A song we sing is only made possible by the food we have eaten. At a universal scale you could say that even our ultimate beginnings had to be made out of something.

How does man manipulate or change Nature's creativity? What about cutting down rainforests, mowing a lawn or Genetically Modified crops? Are they interfering with the natural processes of the continuation and evolution of life?

What do we seek when we try to be creative? What needs are we meeting within our selves? Is it an attempt to tap into the connection with nature we so dearly need? What is the difference here therefore between painting a beautiful landscape and designing a new oil refinery? Does it matter what we put our creative energy into?

Drum Making

It has been a strange autumn for me, and one that makes me feel as though I have lost my way rather too much. What with having been very busy at work, having had several nasty cold bugs, having the feeling that I've been lacking any useful creative stimulation and also the feeling of being on a bit of an emotional low, I have felt quite miserable! I am sure the lack of daylight, fresh air and decent exercise hasn't helped. I am determined to pull out of it and I am looking forward to a break over Christmas in just over a week. As I am sure I keep on saying, trying to be a spiritual and balanced person is actually hard work. If I don't apply mental energy to it then I just drift off into nothingness!

Drum Making
Last weekend I, and around 20 other people, attended a Drum making day with the Dartmoor musicians Carolyn Hillyer and Nigel Shaw in Hitchin. I had always wanted to do something like this and it was a special treat to myself.

We started off with a 16" diameter circular frame of laminated wood which we sanded down and added some wood stain and a small painted icon/image of our choice on the inside edge. A smaller metal ring was wound with black cloth and then attached to the inside of the frame. The skins we were using were from Red Deer and had been soaked in water prior to our using them. The circular piece of skin was hole punched round the edge and then the wooden ring laid on top. The skin was then pulled round over the frame and strung to the metal ring with a long piece of thin skin. This was progressively tightened until the right tension for the drum reached. A handle was finally added to the metal ring at the back of the drum. In the photo you can see that I have the inner ring a little off centre, but it doesn't matter. I'll know how to get it right if I ever make another. A beater was made with a hazel stick, on the end of which was tied a piece of chamois leather stuffed with wool.

I have no real idea how and when I shall use it, but it was a great thing to make. It took almost all day to make and I really enjoyed the experience. Nigel and Carolyn gave a concert in the evening which made a great end to the day.

The drum has now been sitting at home for a week and has dried out well. I am amazed at the quality and beauty of the sound that I can get out of it. Even just playing it with a gentle tapping with the drum held close to the ear reveals different tones and harmonics over different parts of the drum.

Painting at Luton Hoo Walled Garden

Luton Hoo Walled Garden Project is restoring an old walled garden and I go there from time to time to help out with gardening work. Today I had offered to lead a children's painting activity for their main open day of the year. We have at last had a warm sunny weekend, and it certainly brought out hundreds of people (or more) to see the work done so far. I set myself up in a marquee with some large sheets of paper, pots of paint and felt tip pens and got anyone who wanted to just draw gardeney sort of things. The kids loved it and so did everyone else I spoke to as it was an easy and cheap to do creative project that had a big result. I later placed the artwork alongside one one of the main greenhouses with sunflowers as the backdrop and took the photos here.

Personally, I was in need of a bit of a confidence boost and thoroughly enjoyed chatting to parents, visitors and encouraging young people to take part. It was also good to be back participating in a public event again and just doing something different. It drew upon all the skills I feel I am good at and gave me a positive hope for change. There is another open day in October which I got really excited about and said I would love to be involved again. Unfortunately this evening my dear wife reminded me it was on the same day as my daughter's birthday. Pooey - I was more than a little annoyed and upset! I think family responsibilities will have to take priority. It isn't easy for me to take on board new things and several times this year new possibilities have not worked out in areas I am so keen to get experience or knowledge. I don't think it is anything conspiring against me, it is just the way life works. Things get cancelled, diaries clash and somethings just get in the way of others. I will just have to look for other opportunities to do something.

Bogged Down, but a Ray of Light!

Bleurgghh! Have got stuck at work with a project that I didn't identify with and I feel frustrated and annoyed with various things. I'm not going to go into details but there is quite a pressure to be creative and I do enjoy the work, but I've been a bit unsettled this summer and I don't think my mind quite grasped the plot. Having moved from a charity to a commercial business is still proving an interesting challenge for me in coping with different styles of working, expectations, management styles and creative experiences. My aim is to work through things, improve communication skills, be accountable, improve my creative skills and understand more about the Directors' working styles. My path tells me I have to work through things positively and take my 'ministry' to the work place.

I am not going to make a point of bringing my work to this blog, but as it forms a significant part of my waking day, it is a significant part of who I am and what I do.

One thing I did do this week was to write a deep 4 page reflection on a friend's recent sabbatical experience. It was an exercise in stretching my writing muscles and in providing thoughtful and relevant inspiration to another person. They seemed to appreciate it and I felt I was drawing on some of the deep things I have learnt over the past couple of years and beginning to outwork them for the good of others.

Looking and Collecting

My daughter has now found out how interesting it can be to go out and look for things in the countryside. Last week we were in a patch of woodland looking under rotten logs for beetles, centipedes and woodlice. She got quite excited at looking for things - no idea where she gets it from!

A couple of days ago I took her out on the back of my bike for about a 16 mile bike ride. We stopped at a favourite place of mine where the corners of several fields meet to see what we could find. She took her tuppaware box and found all sorts of coloured leaves and different things. I helped, of course, but she really seemed to enjoy searching for stones, seeds, grasses, leaves and anything else. It is a great time of year to go out looking for this and that. Later, at home, she stuck some of the bits onto card to make a picture. She particularly seemed to like the black field bean pods and opening them up to get the hard beans out.

New Places

We are all searching for new places. New places to inspire us. New places that take us away from the sameness that can bind our lives. Places that may not always be physical. We humans have the capacity to explore, to search, to create - to change the place where we find ourselves. Whether that is by changing the physical, social, psychological or spiritual world in which our souls inhabit. Other life forms on this earth probably don't share such a capacity for initiating change in the way that we can perceive - or at least not on our 'immediate' timescale. When did you last see the trees in a local park get up and walk down to the local pub to have a chat? Or the stones in a road get up and decide they have had enough of being driven over by cars? Our culture is saturated with the expectations that we can change our lives, to better it, to move to a higher level of satisfaction, awareness, and fulfillment.

I see this in myself. I often feel un-stimulated and often need some creative energy to lift me out of a state of complacency or frustration at nothing happening in my life (when actually so much is happening - it is just I get numbed by routines). I have talked before about all the things that I would like to do and all I can do is chip away a them bit by bit, little by little.

A few weeks ago I was watching Chris Puleston and his drum circle in Hitchin and it was just one of those memorable occasions when you get captivated by colour, sound and energy. It was a new place for me. A place to experience the unknown, the unexpected, the senses and intense creativity. But then likewise my blog entry Waterfall in the Trees was an equivalent experience. Both were very different, yet similar and unexpected. From both experiences I came away wanting to do something. For one it was to write a poem, for the other it was to make my own shirts!

I think I like to be in new places of creativity. It could be at a music concert, it could be at an art gallery, it could be in a field, it could be in a cafe. A cafe? A field? Cafes or some other eating places are great places to just sit, think, draw, write or observe. I can find them hugely creative places, depending on the circumstances that is. You are sort of isolated in your own little world of your own table and coffee cup but yet surrounded by a continually changing environment of people and sound that isn't usually intrusive (unless you get someone joining you at your table!).

Fields, or indeed almost any outdoor more nauturalised areas, are full of the creative energy of Creation. That is why I enjoy walking and cycling so much. Every field, hedgerow, tree, ditch, overgrown corner, bridleway, fence post or woodland is a place of constant inspiration and a place to watch and observe, to touch and smell, to listen and think, to imagine and create. Despite the fact that a high percentage of the environment around me is man-made or man-managed, I know that the creative force of nature takes hold of any place, even if it be the most microscopic green algae on a tree or an ant crossing a road.

Next week I am going to the Resurgence Readers Camp and looking forward to being in a new place. A place of meeting new people, sharing new ideas, experiencing new food, doing new things and looking for new ways to view the world. Sometimes stepping out into the new can be hard, sometimes it is easy - I've talked about adventure and passion in a recent blog. I am little bit apprehensive but I am looking forward to being amongst some 'alternative' creative people for once.

Berries

A photograph of some berries by the side of the road on the industrial estate where I work. I expect most people just pass them by, but in the early morning sunshine they caught my eye with their beautiful colours.

Third Prize!

My drawing of my compost bin, see previous blogs, won Third Prize (adult) section) in Farmer Phil's Painting Competition run by wiggly wigglers

Compost Bin

Here is a picture of my compost bin. I drew it one evening a couple of days ago. It's actually for a competition being run by wiggly wigglers - you had to draw a picture of something in your garden, but you had to actually go outside to do it. We've had so much rain recently that the garden is overrun with slugs and snails so I thought this would be an appropriate picture to draw. Took me about an hour.

Animals

As I mentioned yesterday I've been working on a few characters and I worked up a few more of them at the cafe before work this morning. Here is part of my sketchbook. I'm trying to establish a more contemporary and easier way to do cartoon/illustrations that can be a bit more cutting edge and more unique to me. It takes a bit of doing - I've been working on them for years it seems. I'm quite excited by them now.....!