I love the Grey

Oh, do it write this or not, or am I just revisiting old problems.....? Pooey, here goes...

I am finding it hard to be positive about this but I was with a group of people recently and to say that I got rather stressed by the situation was an understatement. Now, I'm not going to say who they were or divulge the fine details of the evening as they were a fine bunch of people and I wish to try and maintain a diplomatic and balanced perspective.

But, you know, for some people there is only black and white. They know what they believe and, although they seem to be accepting of different perspectives, the underlying psychological pressure to believe their black and white is intense. For a 'Grey' person, who has a more Holistic outlook, you just have to sit there and stew in silence feeling unable to draw upon deep theological knowledge to back up any of your arguments and knowing full well that any divergent ideas would be met with the unswerving Christian 'only one way and we have it' response (verbally or in thought).

I tried to be hugely positive and was deciding whether to say something or not. Being outspoken before has got me into trouble so I pondered long before politely thanking them for the evenings study and saying "I love the Grey".

I have written before about the Celtic idea of accepting the "Maybe". Perhaps I am liberal, perhaps I am always sitting on the fence, perhaps I am always avoiding conflict - but, hey, that's me.

There is much concern in the Anglican church at the moment about the Ordination of women and homosexuality. I see traditionalists and modernists fighting and causing division. Each has their own deeply held theological standpoint. So, in a sense then, each is right, for each claims ultimate 'biblical truth'. To me it almost reinforces the idea that there is no 'one way', there can be different paths, but people somehow get bogged down in their own states of belief/conditioning that it causes tension and argument. Is this a frightened response that shows their insecurity in their own faith? What are people afraid of loosing? What are they holding onto?

Now, I am not saying that I am pro-homosexuality, anti-Jesus or anything like that. I am not saying either that I don't have black and white ideas about somethings.

I am learning, developing, absorbing - and sometimes SCREAMING with frustration too! I have my cross to bear - like those who are facing tough times in the church.

And what can I do about it.....?

And why is this subject in particular so able to wind me up?

Conflict. Perhaps that is it. And also fear that I could be making a huge mistake. But that is the risk I take on journeying.

Blearaearggghhhhh!!!!

Berries

A photograph of some berries by the side of the road on the industrial estate where I work. I expect most people just pass them by, but in the early morning sunshine they caught my eye with their beautiful colours.

Waterfall in the Trees

On Telegraph Hill, early one very windy Sunday morning in July. I tried to capture the movement of the leaves in the photo, but you might have to use your imagination a little!

I am sitting on a path,
sheltering at the edge of a wood.
Listening to a full wind
in the hill-top woodland.

Waterfall.

The constant thunderous under-current
of water upon water,
leaves upon leaves.
The tree tops are in turmoil
swaying, crashing, pounding.
Leaves are upturned, twisting
with silvery backs, shimmering,
and fluttering;
holding on tight.
And a delicate spray:
the gentle swaying
of grasses and leaves
at my level.

Waves of sound
as the trees all move
together, a body in unison.
Graceful, yet with a sense of unease
and destruction of the weak.
Ash, Sycamore, Beech and Hazel;
the wind and the sound
both unseen, invisible and awesome
an erotic gathering of the senses.

Nature: Living Bible

A note in my sketchbook. I'm re-reading Original Blessing by Matthew Fox and his ideas on Creation Spirituality. It's premise is basically that the earth was made originally good and the fall/redemption ideology has distorted the concept of the Divine creative energy that God imbued in creation. It is quite a liberal theology but I love it. I'd like to expand on it more here at some stage but I don't really was to just repeat large chunks of the books here. I'd love to study it further as it does actually want to make me take a deeper look at the Bible, but getting my head around deep theology isn't easy.

It is hard for us to understand the entirety of the created cosmos. I am not a creationist (literal 7 days to create the earth) and quite happy with idea that the earth has been around for millions of years quietly getting on with the process of creation. Hmm, perhaps Creation is a better word for Evolution as I am not sure that the latter fully encompasses the entirely process of Earth's development. From that perspective the recent Christocentric time frame within we seem to place much of our history and development seems almost inconsequential. If God's creative energy has been at work for so long in forming the earth that nourishes plant roots, the butterflies that dance in summer sunshine and clouds that bring rain to the mountain streams; then are we humans not the most arrogant, self-centered and destructive life forms to walk upon this fragile land?

Can Nature be my Living Bible?

How can I enter a truly authentic mystical faith that draws up nature and Creation for its Being?

And, possibly more interestingly, how can I find people that share similar ideas? The internet is fine as a starting point but it lacks proper personal contact. I am not sure I am ready to return to our church yet so I do feel a bit isolated. Perhaps i should start a group... or do something... or just scream with frustration!

Evening Bike Ride

It isn't often that I go out for an evening bike ride, I ought to go out more often as I love being out at that time of the day. For once it was a beautiful sunny, warm and wind free evening and I cycled over some the local hills. There have been some superb clouds again recently, what with the changeable weather and it was wonderful to be out watching the sun, clouds and light changes as the evening drew to close. I saw the odd muntjac deer but also a couple of young foxes playing at edge of some woodland not too far away from me. I occasionally see the odd one, but rarely have I seen two like this. Whilst standing in a patch of woodland with my bike just wondering what I could see and hear, I was suddenly away of something on the path next to me. On looking round I saw a Hare only about 6 feet away from me. It turned a bolted away with just a faint padding sound. I was surprised it had approached me so closely, but perhaps its mind was thinking of other things and wasn't paying attention to what was in front of it. The evening light was superb and there were some good colours amongst the cumulus clouds.

I'm still exploring the potential of my digital camera and but often forget to just play around with it. This scabious, on top of a hillside with the sun setting behind it, was providing a good evening snack for a bumble bee. I ought to explore some more sort of arty photographs. With my old film camera it was always expensive playing around. I wouldn't have taken photos into the sun before, but this scabious looked beautiful with it's lilac flowers surrounded by a ring of transluscent petals.

Currants

With only one red and one black currant bush in the garden I was pleased to get a good plateful of currants this year. I've had them covered with netting all spring to keep the birds off. I could perhaps have left them on the bush for another couple of days as they were a little sharp, but still delicious with some vanilla ice cream. I've frozen some of them along with yet more strawberries which have produced a very abundant crop this year.

The runner beans are finally shooting up the bean poles and the new potatoes are delicious. Somehow my succession of lettuces has ground to a halt - either through slug damage, or seedlings that do not seem to want to grow. I've just managed to buy some purple sprouting plants and these will fill a gap where the potatoes have been and they will undoubtably provide welcome food for caterpillars when we go on holiday!

Third Prize!

My drawing of my compost bin, see previous blogs, won Third Prize (adult) section) in Farmer Phil's Painting Competition run by wiggly wigglers