New Places

We are all searching for new places. New places to inspire us. New places that take us away from the sameness that can bind our lives. Places that may not always be physical. We humans have the capacity to explore, to search, to create - to change the place where we find ourselves. Whether that is by changing the physical, social, psychological or spiritual world in which our souls inhabit. Other life forms on this earth probably don't share such a capacity for initiating change in the way that we can perceive - or at least not on our 'immediate' timescale. When did you last see the trees in a local park get up and walk down to the local pub to have a chat? Or the stones in a road get up and decide they have had enough of being driven over by cars? Our culture is saturated with the expectations that we can change our lives, to better it, to move to a higher level of satisfaction, awareness, and fulfillment.

I see this in myself. I often feel un-stimulated and often need some creative energy to lift me out of a state of complacency or frustration at nothing happening in my life (when actually so much is happening - it is just I get numbed by routines). I have talked before about all the things that I would like to do and all I can do is chip away a them bit by bit, little by little.

A few weeks ago I was watching Chris Puleston and his drum circle in Hitchin and it was just one of those memorable occasions when you get captivated by colour, sound and energy. It was a new place for me. A place to experience the unknown, the unexpected, the senses and intense creativity. But then likewise my blog entry Waterfall in the Trees was an equivalent experience. Both were very different, yet similar and unexpected. From both experiences I came away wanting to do something. For one it was to write a poem, for the other it was to make my own shirts!

I think I like to be in new places of creativity. It could be at a music concert, it could be at an art gallery, it could be in a field, it could be in a cafe. A cafe? A field? Cafes or some other eating places are great places to just sit, think, draw, write or observe. I can find them hugely creative places, depending on the circumstances that is. You are sort of isolated in your own little world of your own table and coffee cup but yet surrounded by a continually changing environment of people and sound that isn't usually intrusive (unless you get someone joining you at your table!).

Fields, or indeed almost any outdoor more nauturalised areas, are full of the creative energy of Creation. That is why I enjoy walking and cycling so much. Every field, hedgerow, tree, ditch, overgrown corner, bridleway, fence post or woodland is a place of constant inspiration and a place to watch and observe, to touch and smell, to listen and think, to imagine and create. Despite the fact that a high percentage of the environment around me is man-made or man-managed, I know that the creative force of nature takes hold of any place, even if it be the most microscopic green algae on a tree or an ant crossing a road.

Next week I am going to the Resurgence Readers Camp and looking forward to being in a new place. A place of meeting new people, sharing new ideas, experiencing new food, doing new things and looking for new ways to view the world. Sometimes stepping out into the new can be hard, sometimes it is easy - I've talked about adventure and passion in a recent blog. I am little bit apprehensive but I am looking forward to being amongst some 'alternative' creative people for once.

I love the Grey

Oh, do it write this or not, or am I just revisiting old problems.....? Pooey, here goes...

I am finding it hard to be positive about this but I was with a group of people recently and to say that I got rather stressed by the situation was an understatement. Now, I'm not going to say who they were or divulge the fine details of the evening as they were a fine bunch of people and I wish to try and maintain a diplomatic and balanced perspective.

But, you know, for some people there is only black and white. They know what they believe and, although they seem to be accepting of different perspectives, the underlying psychological pressure to believe their black and white is intense. For a 'Grey' person, who has a more Holistic outlook, you just have to sit there and stew in silence feeling unable to draw upon deep theological knowledge to back up any of your arguments and knowing full well that any divergent ideas would be met with the unswerving Christian 'only one way and we have it' response (verbally or in thought).

I tried to be hugely positive and was deciding whether to say something or not. Being outspoken before has got me into trouble so I pondered long before politely thanking them for the evenings study and saying "I love the Grey".

I have written before about the Celtic idea of accepting the "Maybe". Perhaps I am liberal, perhaps I am always sitting on the fence, perhaps I am always avoiding conflict - but, hey, that's me.

There is much concern in the Anglican church at the moment about the Ordination of women and homosexuality. I see traditionalists and modernists fighting and causing division. Each has their own deeply held theological standpoint. So, in a sense then, each is right, for each claims ultimate 'biblical truth'. To me it almost reinforces the idea that there is no 'one way', there can be different paths, but people somehow get bogged down in their own states of belief/conditioning that it causes tension and argument. Is this a frightened response that shows their insecurity in their own faith? What are people afraid of loosing? What are they holding onto?

Now, I am not saying that I am pro-homosexuality, anti-Jesus or anything like that. I am not saying either that I don't have black and white ideas about somethings.

I am learning, developing, absorbing - and sometimes SCREAMING with frustration too! I have my cross to bear - like those who are facing tough times in the church.

And what can I do about it.....?

And why is this subject in particular so able to wind me up?

Conflict. Perhaps that is it. And also fear that I could be making a huge mistake. But that is the risk I take on journeying.

Blearaearggghhhhh!!!!

Berries

A photograph of some berries by the side of the road on the industrial estate where I work. I expect most people just pass them by, but in the early morning sunshine they caught my eye with their beautiful colours.

Waterfall in the Trees

On Telegraph Hill, early one very windy Sunday morning in July. I tried to capture the movement of the leaves in the photo, but you might have to use your imagination a little!

I am sitting on a path,
sheltering at the edge of a wood.
Listening to a full wind
in the hill-top woodland.

Waterfall.

The constant thunderous under-current
of water upon water,
leaves upon leaves.
The tree tops are in turmoil
swaying, crashing, pounding.
Leaves are upturned, twisting
with silvery backs, shimmering,
and fluttering;
holding on tight.
And a delicate spray:
the gentle swaying
of grasses and leaves
at my level.

Waves of sound
as the trees all move
together, a body in unison.
Graceful, yet with a sense of unease
and destruction of the weak.
Ash, Sycamore, Beech and Hazel;
the wind and the sound
both unseen, invisible and awesome
an erotic gathering of the senses.

Nature: Living Bible

A note in my sketchbook. I'm re-reading Original Blessing by Matthew Fox and his ideas on Creation Spirituality. It's premise is basically that the earth was made originally good and the fall/redemption ideology has distorted the concept of the Divine creative energy that God imbued in creation. It is quite a liberal theology but I love it. I'd like to expand on it more here at some stage but I don't really was to just repeat large chunks of the books here. I'd love to study it further as it does actually want to make me take a deeper look at the Bible, but getting my head around deep theology isn't easy.

It is hard for us to understand the entirety of the created cosmos. I am not a creationist (literal 7 days to create the earth) and quite happy with idea that the earth has been around for millions of years quietly getting on with the process of creation. Hmm, perhaps Creation is a better word for Evolution as I am not sure that the latter fully encompasses the entirely process of Earth's development. From that perspective the recent Christocentric time frame within we seem to place much of our history and development seems almost inconsequential. If God's creative energy has been at work for so long in forming the earth that nourishes plant roots, the butterflies that dance in summer sunshine and clouds that bring rain to the mountain streams; then are we humans not the most arrogant, self-centered and destructive life forms to walk upon this fragile land?

Can Nature be my Living Bible?

How can I enter a truly authentic mystical faith that draws up nature and Creation for its Being?

And, possibly more interestingly, how can I find people that share similar ideas? The internet is fine as a starting point but it lacks proper personal contact. I am not sure I am ready to return to our church yet so I do feel a bit isolated. Perhaps i should start a group... or do something... or just scream with frustration!

Evening Bike Ride

It isn't often that I go out for an evening bike ride, I ought to go out more often as I love being out at that time of the day. For once it was a beautiful sunny, warm and wind free evening and I cycled over some the local hills. There have been some superb clouds again recently, what with the changeable weather and it was wonderful to be out watching the sun, clouds and light changes as the evening drew to close. I saw the odd muntjac deer but also a couple of young foxes playing at edge of some woodland not too far away from me. I occasionally see the odd one, but rarely have I seen two like this. Whilst standing in a patch of woodland with my bike just wondering what I could see and hear, I was suddenly away of something on the path next to me. On looking round I saw a Hare only about 6 feet away from me. It turned a bolted away with just a faint padding sound. I was surprised it had approached me so closely, but perhaps its mind was thinking of other things and wasn't paying attention to what was in front of it. The evening light was superb and there were some good colours amongst the cumulus clouds.

I'm still exploring the potential of my digital camera and but often forget to just play around with it. This scabious, on top of a hillside with the sun setting behind it, was providing a good evening snack for a bumble bee. I ought to explore some more sort of arty photographs. With my old film camera it was always expensive playing around. I wouldn't have taken photos into the sun before, but this scabious looked beautiful with it's lilac flowers surrounded by a ring of transluscent petals.

Currants

With only one red and one black currant bush in the garden I was pleased to get a good plateful of currants this year. I've had them covered with netting all spring to keep the birds off. I could perhaps have left them on the bush for another couple of days as they were a little sharp, but still delicious with some vanilla ice cream. I've frozen some of them along with yet more strawberries which have produced a very abundant crop this year.

The runner beans are finally shooting up the bean poles and the new potatoes are delicious. Somehow my succession of lettuces has ground to a halt - either through slug damage, or seedlings that do not seem to want to grow. I've just managed to buy some purple sprouting plants and these will fill a gap where the potatoes have been and they will undoubtably provide welcome food for caterpillars when we go on holiday!